Planning children's birthdays, making shopping lists, making doctor's appointments for parents in need of support, keeping track of all family members' appointments, or organizing homeschooling. The list can be extended by any number of 'invisible' tasks that are seldom specifically named, but which arise in droves in everyday family life, have to be considered, planned and done on the side.

This so-called mental load costs a lot of time and energy and is also often very unequally distributed. Usually, one person, predominantly female, bears the burden of responsibility for family work, while the partner offers to help. This is due to traditional role models that are reinforced by gender-specific toys, among other things.

Reducing mental load is a particular challenge for single or separated parents. Regardless of the individual family model, the burden of being responsible for everything can be so heavy that it can lead to burnout-like symptoms

In order to reduce mental load and achieve a partnership-based division, the first important step is to make invisible tasks visible. It helps to make a list of all family tasks, including who does them and how much time is spent on them. This can be done in a Self-test on Mental Load.

Once the tasks are visible, they can be reallocated. Perhaps there are tasks that can be deleted or simplified. Like the cake for the kindergarten party, which can also be bought. Other tasks can perhaps be outsourced.

The pme Familienservice arranges both childcare and household-related services.

Especially in situations of personal stress, the colleagues of the social counselling service are available as contact persons.

Making coffee, cleaning out the dishwasher and remembering birthdays: even in the workplace, there are people who take on invisible or unappreciated tasks, even though they are not in their job description. The Mental Load Test@work helps to arrive at a fair distribution here as well.

Website of Equal Care Day

Patricia Cammarata: Raus aus der Mental Load Falle (also available at the Central Library; in German)

Podcast mit Patricia Cammarata und Caspar Clemens Mierau (in German)

Comic von Emma